Riding Along on a Push-bike Honey …

Unless you’re out pushing your trike, there’s no reason to be wearing Lycra-type tights in a public space. It is a violation of the unwritten human moral code, to make no mention of issues of self-respect, humility, and basic good taste.

Wearing leggings out is not a good look, whether you’re strolling back from the gym or ordering fish and chips. To my eye you have the appeal of a brigandine without armour, a fencer without a foil, a pirate sans swashbuckling, a ballet dancer who can’t find the stage.

A low chemoreceptor trigger zone-threshold have I, seeing people in tights walk the street makes me cringe to the point of throwing up. What I feel for the person wrapped in Spandex is a mix of embarrassment and not-quite-disdain. There is no need to always dress up. But is there not a primordial imperative to cover up, and unassumingly so?

Is this then the brave new etiquette? What passes for socially acceptable these days?

Trying just too hard to impress we strike to make an impact, strive to stand out. How is it that we don’t all have eccentricity-fatigue by now? The sociological pendulum should be swinging back to little-‘c’ conservative. (And not before time). Plain is beautiful. Conventional is good. Proper is so right.

Oh but for an appropriately-clad, tattoo-free, lass.

… Ooh!


Shaft-driven bicycle. [Photo by Jeff Dean, Wikimedia Commons]

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